Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Alone again, naturally...

I'm feeling incredibly ancient today. Maybe it's the ache in my knees and lower back, along with the sore throat. It's probably also my 2-1/2 year-old sucking the very life out of me. He's different when Papa isn't around. He tests me more and he's clingier--though the funny thing is, he doesn't ask for Papa.

Anyway, have I mentioned before how much it sucks being a single parent? I don't know how people do it, but hats off to them who do!

On top of feeling icky, I'm also tired of being alone. I've been used to being alone for hours on end all my life, but there comes a point in time where having a conversation with yourself in your head gets pretty boring. Oh, sure, sure, I have someone here to talk with 24/7, but my daily dialogue consists of this:

"Eat your food."
"No"
"Do you have to go pee?"
"No"
"Why didn't you tell me you had to go pee pee?"
"I dunno"
"If you don't listen to me, you're getting a time out."
"No."
"Leave the dog alone."
"Tell FiFi to leave my toys alone."
"I'm going to count to three..."
(usually triggers an action, not a verbal response)
"Eat with your spoon."
(is usually followed by picking up the spoon).

I don't have a lot of Mommy friends and come to think of it, I don't have a lot of friends here, period. All of my close friends are really far away--and the funny thing is, if we lived in the same town, we'd all hang out together because we're all parents. So needless to say, my husband is my social stratum. Pretty sad, eh? Well, a lot of my childless friends have kinda disappeared--and probably because my kid is firmly attached to me whenever they see me anymore. So I spend endless hours alone, though not necessarily alone. It's not like I can use this "alone" time to write since my hands are usually filled with wet wipes/food/choo choos--you name it.

At the end of the day, though, I still wouldn't trade my life for anything.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maggie, do the people of Seattle know what they are missing? I would LOVE to have a friend like you here in MI..Although, there really is only one you-I just wish I had more people to count in my friend column than acquaintance.:)

princess kanomanom said...

Weird, the alone thing. I thought I'd enjoy the "me time" before Pea arrived in NYC, and I did, just not past the first few days. People are nice.