Sunday, January 29, 2012

Forever Family Q&A

This was the conversation my son and I had at lunch today:

P: I want to be really tall when I grow up.
M: Well, that all depends on your genetics.
P: My what?
M: It depends on your genes passed down to you by your birthparents.
P: (sighs) Oh, well, I guess I won't know if I'll be taller, since I don't know about my birthparents.
M: You'll find out soon enough.
P: (His face changes to sullen) Why'd they give me up anyway?
M: Honey, remember, it wasn't "they". We don't know anything about your birthfather. It was your birthmother who had to give you up. She was single and I can only imagine how difficult of a decision it must have been. But she probably couldn't take care of a baby at that point in her life, so she made the best decision for both of you. She knew you'd be in good hands and that eventually, you'd find your forever family.
P: Could you give up a baby?
M: No, I couldn't. It would be too hard for me. But, she and I have very different circumstances. I don't know what I would do if I were in her shoes.
P: Do you think she cried when she gave me up?
M: I'm sure she did. That's a very difficult decision to make.
P: Aw. I wish I could find her and write her a note letting her know I'm ok, and that I'm a good reader.
M: I wish you could, too, but we have so very little information about her.
P: What was her name?
M: I'd have to go look it up. But that's really all we have.

The conversation then strayed off the subject and later on, my son gave me a big hug and told me he loved me and how soft and cuddly I was. I told him I loved him, too.

My son (and my daughter) both feel a profound sense of loss, even though they aren't in touch with it. It's the loss they endured when they were separated from their birthmothers, and even though they never really "knew" them, that loss will remain with them forever. It's a deep wound that forever moms and dads cannot heal. All we can do is give them all of our love and let them know how dear they are and how happy we are to have such a tremendous gift.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Snow Days = blow days

Remember when you were a kid and snow days were the most awesome days in the world? I'd wake up to a world of white and just as soon as my mom got "the call" that school was canceled, I'd be out there with my neighborhood friends building snow forts and going sledding down Suicide Hill.* Good times.

Now that I'm an adult, I loathe snow days. As a mom who works from home, snow days are days when NOTHING gets done. It isn't just because the kids are around all day, either. It's because I know I have to get out and shovel said snow from my sidewalk. And since my house sits on a corner lot, I have to shovel two sidewalks.

I hate it, too, because I can't just turn my kids out into the snow and say, "Come in when it starts to get dark." Living in the city means we have to trudge to the park which, thankfully, is only a few blocks away; but that means I have to go with them and stand there, in the freezing snow, and watch them play. So, after spending an hour freezing my tukus off while watching my two kids slide down their lame hill (nothing will ever compare to Suicide Hill. NOTHING!) I get to bring them back inside, strip them down, take care of their wet clothes, and then I get to go back outside and shovel.

Of course, what sucks more is when I shovel my sidewalks and then it snows overnight again...which means the kids get another day off and I get to shovel my sidewalks...again.

I'm thankful that we live in a pretty mild climate. Snowstorms like the one we experienced last week aren't yearly occurrences, but this last week set me over the edge. The kids had off from school on Monday for the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. Then, it snowed overnight, so on Tuesday, they had a two-hour late start. Then, the school called to say that the kids are being released two hours early, which means they were only in school for two hours. What does anyone do in two hours? I had enough time to shower and answer emails, and that was it. Then, school was canceled on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday because it didn't stop snowing until Friday night.

You might be wondering why I'm so anal with the snow shoveling. Well, 1/3 of me is being considerate, and 2/3 of me is forcing me to do it because I would be the only person on my block who DIDN'T shovel snow off the sidewalk. And I don't want to be one of "those" people. Believe me, all of the neighborhood blogs had at least one rant in each of them, discussing the absolute assholeness of people who didn't shovel their sidewalks. So yeah, I'm trying to avoid shame. On the plus side, a few people passed me on the sidewalk during my shovel-a-thons and thanked me for clearing a path.

One week later and all the snow has disappeared, save for a few patches here and there; but it's like the snowstorm of the century never happened. I hope that's the last of it!

*Suicide Hill was located in the woods adjacent to our backyard. We named it thusly because it was steeper than all get-out and when you got to the bottom, you had to bail out quickly because either a) you might veer to the right and smack into a tree; or b) you might go straight into the frozen Hackensack River. I'm proud to say no one has ever lost their life to Suicide Hill.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Sage Advice from Moms in 30Seconds

The old adage that moms know best has been around for as long as moms have been doing the mom thing. But where do you suppose moms get their tips from? Fellow moms, of course! And now with technology so readily at our fingertips, there's a stream-based mobile website and app for reading valuable tips from moms all in one place: 30Second Mom.

For instance, did you know that using a lemon can soothe dry skin? Want to know how to make homemade de-tangler? Did you know that dyed foods may cause behavior issues in kids? Those tips and hundreds more, written by over 50 contributors (momtributors), from topics like cooking in the kitchen to spicing things up in your relationship, can be found on 30Second Mom. As a featured contributor, I'm proud to be working with a group of talented and savvy moms!

30Second Mom was created by entrepreneur, Elisa All, a mom of three who is no stranger to new media as her previous venture, iParenting Media, had been sold to the Walt Disney Corp. All founded 30Second Mobile and launched 30Second Mom as the company's first brand when she realized that she used her smartphone constantly to access the Web and multi-task while on the go. She's not alone; in fact, US smartphone adoption is currently at 40%, and likely to be growing to 80% by 2016; and smartphone penetration for parents is possibly even higher as BabyCenter has found that moms are more likely to have smartphones and spend 6.1 hrs/day on the mobile web. The beauty of the 30Second Mom mobile app is that you can access it while you're waiting in line at the grocery store, on the playground, or at school -- anywhere you are. And the tips you like can be shared by you with all of your friends on Facebook and Twitter with a simple tap on the screen.

30Second Mom is a free app that only requires a one-time registration. Click here to get started and pretty soon you too will be a mom that's "in the know while on the go!"

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Lookit me, all busy and stuff

Time flies when you're running around like crazy, and now I understand why my parents always commented on how the years passed so quickly for them. It's happening to me now, too.

I can't say I've bitten off more than I can chew, but I can say that I'm getting pretty darn close to being able to say it. I've been busy. I've been writin...for everything...for this and this, just not this blog. Such a shame, too, since I started in in 2004. It really deserves to be dusted off and placed back into my regular writing routine.

Both kids are in school now (yay, me!) so you'd think that six hours a day would be a delicious break. No such luck, my virtual friends. I've just managed to cram more crap into my day only to get frustrated by the end of it and wonder what it was that I accomplished.

Alrighty, well, I hate making "resolutions" in January because it seems so trite; but since it's January, and I've been wanting to start the ol' blog back up again, I might as well say that I'm gonna try to be more diligent.