Canned Goods

New rule of the day...never go to a double feature of scary movies and expect to get a full night's rest when you get home!

Yes, it's true...I am 36 and I slept with the light on last night. Shut up.

Jade and I saw Open Water and the Exorcist-The Beginning. Of the two, Open Water was the movie that scared the freaking shit out of me while watching it. It just seemed so real and put me into the "what would I do?" mode the entire time.

The Exorcist-The Beginning, on the other hand, sucked major ass. It wasn't scary at all--yet that was the movie that kept me awake all night with the lights on. Why? Well, let me put it this way: demon possession is one of those things where, I don't know if it's real, but if I found out it was, it would be the hard way either by being possessed myself, or knowing someone who was...and don't you think that'd really be a sucky way of finding out?

So last night after the movies, I was lying in bed alone, since my dear hubby had a sour stomach after eating the rest of the Trader Joe's Dunkers (serves you right you bastard) and is on the couch in the den supposedly studying but really reading the new Dave Eggers anthology personalized by Dave who wrote: "thank you, thank you, thank you for contributing some of the best goddamn work..." (for McSweeney's) and signing it "your mentee" (and I realize I am paraphrasing here since I can't find the actual book now--probably because C took it with him to either a) show it off at work; and/or b) is carefully preserving it in his laptop bag instead of having mine or our son's grubby hands mucking it up...and all I keep thinking of is that if I turn off the light, some crazy-ass demon is going to spider-climb my walls into my bedroom and scare the shit out of me and I can't let that happen or else I won't sleep and if I don't sleep I'll be worthless trying to tote Mr. Na around all day and entertain him because he expects me to be frigging Bob Hope all the time...but as it turns out I can't sleep with the light on either so I wonder if I'm better off trying to finish reading Rabbit Redux, which, by the way, is pretty good or just trying to get into a good position to fall asleep--which isn't working because the more I toss and turn, the tighter my silk pajamas get--so much so that I'm giving myself a major wedgie.

So then, of course, I try and talk myself out of leaving the light on and I shut it off only to remember the movie trailer I saw for Ju-On earlier in the afternoon where the little boy ghost sits on the bed while the woman sleeps...so now I'm thinking there's this little Asian boy on the foot of my bed which is why the dog jumped down and if I open my eyes, he'll have his beady little ghost eyes fixed on me.

Sometime after 5 a.m. I managed to fall asleep (with the light on).

On the plus side, my finest material is written on the shortest amount of sleep. Maybe it's giddiness...or maybe my internal editor is too groggy to give a shit about what I write...