Le Freaks Next Door

I really hate our new neighbors.

They moved in last July when our old neighbors, who were actually very nice, decided to move instead of putting in an awful lot of money to add a bathroom upstairs. That's the problem with these old Craftsman bungalows...how a family of four or more manages to survive with one bathroom simply amazes me.

Anyway, when our old neighbors left, they told us that they had put together a little scrapbook about several of our neighbors: things like who has kids, who's single, etc. I thought that was kinda cute. I figured it was a nice ice breaker for the new people and a helpful tool at "pre-introductions".

I'm not the type of person who delivers homemade preserves on my new neighbors' doorstep or anything like that, but I smile and wave to people as I see them. So when I smiled and waved to our new neighbors, the woman simply scowled at me. I thought at first maybe I was mistaken, so I didn't take it personally. I figured, "whatever." It happened again last weekend at Starbucks. I was having coffee with a friend and they sat down at the table next to us. As soon as she saw me, she gave me her death gaze and I was just mortified.

To add insult to injury, the woman works during the day and the man works at night. I now know when the man wakes up (3:00 p.m. or so) because he plays the stereo FULL BLAST, and this is right at the same time Mr. Na goes down for his nap. Thankfully, my kiddo's windows don't face our neighbors' house.

However, this is the same time that I try and write or read. So regardless if I go up to my bedroom, or work in my husband's office or in the den, I can't escape this guy's loud music, and it's agonizing. Right now, he's in a disco groove...so I've heard everything from "You Sexy Thing" to "Freak Out!" and "I Want Your Love". I'm waiting for him to break out his Saturday Night Fever CD and then I'm going to go insane.

There's nothing I can do about this. I mean, it is the middle of the day, so it's not like I can go over there and ask him to turn it down; and honestly, if it was our former neighbors, I wouldn't feel nearly as put out as I am now. But because the woman throws me dirty looks every time I see her, I can't help but think about what horrible people live next to me. There's nothing I can do about the fact that she scowls at me either. I have to remember to give her one of my ultra-cheesy, fake smiles next time she lobs one over my way. "Kill her with kindness," Mr. Na's Pa says. No. I think instead I'll kill her with cheese. And on Monday morning, around 8:45 a.m., I'll be sure and crank up Barney.