Canned Goods

In the April issue of Jane magazine, there's an article on the rising popularity of female mutilation here in the United States.

My first reaction, having nearly fallen off the elliptical trainer, was what the fuck???

But it's true, you see---there are willing participants here in this great nation of ours who are willing to cut off their labias minora and majora and clitoris. One woman was quoted as saying that her decision was based on her desire to please her partner without her own lusty inhibitions getting in the way.

My second reaction to this, as I righted myself again on the elliptical trainer was what the fuck???

I'm fondly attached to my own genitalia so I'm not sure exactly why this new fad is sweeping the nation. Is it that we're just so fucking bored with ourselves that we have to resort to mutilation as a new form of stimulation? I'll stick to my old fashioned ways, thank you.